Genius Things To Read When You’re Bored

1. Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self acceptance.

2. Your dog doesn’t know you can make mistakes. When you trip over him in the dark, he thinks you got up just to kick him in the head.

3. Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super rad if you don’t know what either of those things are.

4. April Fool’s Day is the one day of the year when people critically evaluate news articles before accepting them as true.

5. Brushing our teeth is the closest we ever come to cleaning our skeleton.

6. Of all the bodily functions that could be contagious, be thankful it’s a yawn.

7. If you don’t wear the right clothes when you go for a run, you look like an insane person.

8.The way we treat moths vs how we treat butterflies is the prime example of pretty privileges.

9.There’s a neverending waterfall of poo hidden inside every skyscraper.

10.You aren’t paid according to how hard you work, you are paid according to how hard you are to replace

11.People who don’t indicate in traffic are people who are literally not willing to lift a finger to help co-operate.

12.Eventually, most of the content on the internet will be from dead people.

13.While we sleep our brain makes up stories and then gets scared of them.

14.If magic was real it would just be a branch of science.

15.Future generations will have lots of high quality video footage of so many extinct animals.

16.It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that you’re a nice person.

17.A wireless charger restricts your phone much more than a wired one does.

18.The degree to which one hates mosquitoes is typically based on how much mosquitoes love them.

19.Dogs hear us talk all day, but if they bark for more than a minute we tell them to stop.

20. If humans naturally had horns, we’d probably have to shave them down to a socially acceptable length.

21.Lions are so badass, they became king of the jungle without even living there.

22.You’ve probably never seen your grandparents jump.

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